It’s been a few months since I wrote a blog. Edison asked last week when I would write one again, and now here I am...
My
brother, who
has been raising money for us through GoFundMe, gave updates via Facebook almost
everyday since the
page was set up at the end of July. I then took the liberty to focus on
the challenges ahead of us at the time. Edison's last two weeks of radiation
was, as the radiation oncologist had predicted, the most brutal of the
seven weeks of radiation. On top of the
already lingering issues of painful mouth sores, frustrating inability
to eat, and general depressed state of his spirit, Edison experienced
yet another blow! The right side of his neck (where his metastasized
cancer lump showed up, and consequently received a higher dose of
radiation than the rest of his head and neck) began to blister and scar.
At this point, his neck was already burned, like charred corn that was
left a little bit too long in the grill. I had a feeling that the burns,
blister, and scar were merely superficial indications of the even
greater physical pain underneath all that.
Those
final two weeks of radiation not only proved to be the hardest for
Edison, but for me as well. I had the blessing of being able to care for
my husband full-time during the summer, but as August rolled in, the
kids had to go back to school and I had to go back to work. It was very
difficult to "not worry about anything; instead, pray for everything,"
as St. Paul instructed the Philippians (4:6). I had to keep my
sanity intact though, so instead of worrying about things I couldn't control, I
prayed for everything: I thanked God that I was able to care for Edison
when I did; for the compassionate doctors and nurses He put on our
team; for our wonderful family and friends who never left our side
during this trial; and I also prayed for more strength in the months to
come.
And just like
a breath of fresh air, as soon as Edison finished his final radiation
session, his parents came back from their vacation in the Philippines.
My in-laws volunteered to stay with us until the end of Edison's
treatment plan, which at the time still included: four weeks of
recovery, one week of chemo (Round 2), three weeks of recovery, another
week of chemo (Round 3), three weeks of recovery, the final week of
chemo (Round 4), and recovery to the end of the year before going back
to work.
I felt
relief for my husband. It doesn't matter how old we get; when we see our
parents, we just want them to kiss our boo-boos and believe that their kiss
would make the boo-boos magically go away. My whole life I've always relied on my parents
for support, but through the past summer, I've emotionally and
spiritually leaned on them even more. I could always count on my dad to
make me smile, and on my mom to give me that extra boost of courage. So I
had no doubt about the wonders that having his parents around would do
for my husband's spirit!
Each
week leading up to his second round of chemotherapy was a miracle upon
another miracle. He started taking liquids through his mouth, then soft
solids, and ever so slowly but surely, he regained his strength. On the
eve of his chemotherapy session, he compared himself to a cell phone
with a battery life of 85 percent - he was feeling pretty well! He sure
was dreading the next day though because he knew his strength would be
depleted again. Sure enough, the grueling six hours of chemotherapy in
the hospital, followed by a "take home" chemotherapy pack that would be
infused over the next four days took him back to "50% battery life."
His
body has been through so much at this point; I always called him my
true-to-life warrior! He regained some strength but developed mouth
sores again, which we totally did not expect. Because he was not able to
feed through his mouth, it was becoming clear that he would not be back
to 85 percent, where he was before his second round of chemo. Edison
was growing ever more frustrated that he could not eat - especially when
we could all smell the scrumptious aroma of his mom's cooking! Perhaps
even more frustrating for him was that my birthday fell on the week of
his third round of chemo. I told him that we've essentially already
celebrated when we had our family and friends over a couple of weeks prior for a four-way
birthday party: Sally's (one of our closest
friends), Belle's (my sister), Alison's (our daughter), and mine!
The week of his third round of chemo arrives and he is at "65% battery life," which is not as hopeful as the last one. My warrior battles on and the prayer brigade, which has never stopped praying by the way, amplifies the volume of prayers sent up to heaven for my warrior's continued healing and strength. He spends the dreaded six hours of chemotherapy in the hospital that Monday, and is again sent home with a chemotherapy pack that is infused over the next four days. That week when I wake up on Thursday, my birthday, I feel like it is an ordinary day. I already know it is going to be an emotional day though because in my head, I have a birthday candle and I have only one wish that I could think of.
Before
leaving for work, I wake Edison up as I always do: I pray over him and
give him his pain and anti-nausea medication. As he weakly mutters,
"Happy Birthday, Beb!" tears come running down my cheeks. It still is a
"happy" birthday indeed, I thought, because while we are going through
such a difficult time in our life, there is no place I'd rather be! As
if that is not emotional enough, God's reflections of love keep shining
through all day. My 7th Grade homeroom class surprises me with balloons,
decorations, card, and food. Birthday cards, messages, and gifts keep coming
from people I love - my colleagues, my parents, my brother, my sister,
my in-laws, and lots more family and friends. I get home and I
find a balloon and cupcakes in our dining area. My mother-in-law
tearfully says to me that Edison, with as little "battery life" he has
that day, has stubbornly driven himself to the store to get me the
surprises! I get up to our bedroom and gently scold him that he is not
supposed to do that, that I will have totally understood, and what is
he thinking! That's when he hands me a card with such a heartfelt message,
and a massage gift certificate to boot!
So yes, I will always choose joy... because it somehow just multiplies even if I don't mean it to... because problems are indications of our blessings, as my fabulous friend says... and because life really is full of nice surprises when your heart is in a joyful place and is ready to receive more of it!
As
Edison continues to recuperate from his last round of chemotherapy,
please keep him and our family in your prayers. It's been a brutal
battle, but we find solace in Christ as always.
#TeamThrive
everything will be alright and he always says in my TIME.. Always believe that GOD gave you that because he knows YOU can do it. We are here praying or you fast recovery we love you guyz..
ReplyDeleteThank you po, TiTo Noel! 💖
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