Strength In Christ and In Numbers

We were waiting to be called for Edison's radiology oncologist appointment last Thursday and it was taking longer than expected. Having mastered the art of "making margaritas when life's given us limes," I thought about interviewing Edison while waiting at the reception area. I told him that I want the blog to have more of his voice.  

Audrey: Name the top three emotions that you're feeling right now.

Edison: Anxious... concerned... hopeful!

A: I'm glad you're hopeful! I know this hasn't been the best of times, but what is the best thing that's happened since you were diagnosed with cancer?

E: The positive thoughts from the support group [#TeamThrive].

A: Yes, we've been blessed with amazing support. Any words of advice for us who will continue supporting you in this journey?

E: If I am quiet, it doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the support. You don't have to worry that I'm holding my feelings in. Sometimes, the support just gets so overwhelming; I just need a break. Sometimes, I just want to process things myself.

A: Let's dream! After all this is over, what are the top three things you want to cross off your bucket list?

E: Travel more - Paris! Try more restaurants - House of Prime Rib and more sushi places! And probably be more open to talk about my emotions and be ok to ask for help. You know me, I like to do it all. Now I know it's ok to ask for help.

A: I notice that you always play [Starship's] "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" every time we drive to your medical appointments in Modesto. Kuma-KathNiel tayo? (laughs) [Channeling Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla, Philippine cinema's current #1 love team]

E: I didn't even notice that I was doing that.

A: Yes, you do. So I was wondering what that's about...

E: I've always liked that song in general. But now it's like our song during this time of our life... because you know, "nothing's gonna stop us." (smiles) But another song that I like listening to now is [Sara Bareilles'] "Brave."

A: Any message to those who are praying for you?

E: I'm truly blessed. Like what you said [on the last blog], I knew people loved me but I didn't know it was this much. I don't think they realize that their messages are what keep me going.

A: What are the best lessons from this experience so far?

E: Not to take anything for granted. Every memory has flashed in my head. Life is short. We don't know what tomorrow brings. Whenever I see cancer foundation commercials on TV, I now see it from their [cancer patients'] perspective. I probably don't have it as bad as some of them, but I now know how they feel. Before, I always just hear the words, "Live life to the fullest" or "Live each day as though it were the last." Now I know they actually mean something.

 

Audrey: Speaking of life and time, I made a mistake on the last blog. We've been together 19 years altogether - not 18! Time flies when you're having fun, huh?

And in true Edison fashion, he just smiled thoughtfully... It's funny how it's been 19 years and I can still feel butterflies in my stomach when he does that! (Cue: Intro to "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now") 😍😄

We felt hopeful after the meeting. We headed to the chemotherapy class next, which gave us more gear (information) for the upcoming battle. We realize that we all have a cross to bear. Edison and I are just so blessed that we never had to carry ours alone. There truly is "strength in numbers" with you, our prayer brigade, who's been there with us right from the beginning! Above all, we have Christ who strengthens us all. Thank You, Lord, for the gifts of faith, family, and friends! #TeamThrive

Love on HD

Last Friday, we went to Edison's first meeting with the oncologist, who essentially will be the team captain during the treatment phase of our journey. She assured us that Edison's cancer is treatable and curable with 70% success rate of it never coming back. His treatment plan is as follows:

* Six weeks of chemotherapy (on Mondays) and radiation (M-F)

* Four weeks of rest from treatment

* Three rounds of: M-Th chemotherapy and 3 weeks of rest

While Edison's treatment does not commence until next month, there are quite a few items that we need to check off to prepare him for treatment:

* Meeting with the radiation oncologist

* Chemotherapy class

* Radiation planning/measurement appointment

* Port placement (outpatient procedure)

* Meeting with the nutritionist

We asked tough questions about leave of absence from work, short and long-term side effects, support services, our cancer care team, etc. Overall, we were pleased by the oncologist's calm, patient, and straightforward responses. Edison felt better knowing that a game plan has been set, and I felt proud at how courageous my husband has been facing all this!

He's healed well from the outpatient surgery that he's had the prior week. Besides a couple bouts of nosebleeds in the morning, there has been no problem in caring for him after the surgery. Just as a nurse would, I asked him to rate his nose and throat pain from a scale of 0 to 10 - 0 being no pain at all and 10 being the worst pain he's ever felt in his life. It has always been manageable at 3 or below.

It's funny how scales are so relative. Today, Edison and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary; we've been together for 18 years altogether! Just before he was diagnosed with cancer, I never thought I could ever love him more than I already did: in a scale of 1 to 10, my love for him then was definitely a 10... with neon lights! After the cancer diagnosis, however, I felt a renewed sense of devotion to him: there is no limit to what I'll endure for this man. And if I've known 18 years ago what I know now, I would have still gladly accepted him in my life. All our challenges through the years have just made our celebrations all the more sweet and special!

All of this renewed euphoria doesn't end between us though. Even among family and friends, we've always known we were loved... but after sharing with you this journey of ours, we now feel how much more love you are actually willing to give us through your loving thoughts, fervent prayers, touching gifts, mighty hugs, enthusiastic happy hour invitations (yeah!), and incredible service offers, most of all! It's seriously been like a festival of love languages, and it's as if we're witnessing all of it in HD! What a glorious display of God's love in our life!

Thank You, God... and thank you all... we are truly humbled by all the love and support!

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)

#TeamThrive

#TeamThrive

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for you to thrive and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"(Jeremiah 29:11)

On Easter Monday, I went with Edison to his appointment with his primary care physician. We tried to get a referral to an oncologist. After having a quick conference call with the head & neck specialist, the primary care physician informed us of the protocol that they are adhering to: before sending us to an oncology team, they wanted to do all the tests first (MRI and PET scan), which were scheduled the following week. Edison's doctor reassured us that cancer doesn't "grow" overnight, and that we are doing fine schedule-wise.

In the meantime, Edison was instructed to keep everything as normal as possible: keep his work routine, work out regularly, and eat healthy. He was encouraged to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and limit fried and sugary foods and drinks. The doctor also emphasized that Edison needed to stay positive, and to particularly stay away from any stressful and depressing thoughts.

All of these: eating healthy, working out, and staying positive - are needed to keep Edison's immune system as healthy as possible until we get to the treatment phase!

Edison and I have been overwhelmed by all the love and support that have come our way since we asked for you to join us in this journey. Our immediate family has provided us with healthy meals and drinks, and endless favors granted; our friends have provided us with opportunities for laughter and togetherness (insert margaritas here - heehee!); and all of you have given us so much of your time with your prayers and positive thoughts.

Your words of hope have comforted us as we went to his PET scan appointment in Stockton last Sunday. As we continued to rejoice in Christ's resurrection, we were overjoyed to learn from the head & neck specialist on Tuesday that Edison's cancer hasn't spread beyond the main cancer site and the tumor on his right neck. I never would have thought that I'd ever rejoice over a Stage II cancer diagnosis for Edison! But it was an answered prayer indeed that his cancer, while it still was cancer, had only been localized in two areas - praise God! The main cancer site, as suspected, is located at the back of his nose. Edison scheduled an outpatient procedure the following day for the head & neck specialist to take some culture sample.

Your words of encouragement and love have sustained us, as we spent a taxing Wednesday: in preparation for the procedure, Edison had to fast beginning at 7:00 am. We drove to Modesto in the early afternoon. He was checked-in and prepared for surgery by 3:00 pm; was rolled into the operating room by 5:15 pm; and was in recovery by 8:00 pm. Having my parents-in-law with me was a blessing. The three of us listened as the head & neck specialist confirmed that Edison indeed had (Stage II) nasopharyngeal carcinoma. She will forward all the information, including Edison's MRI that still needs to be taken tomorrow at 5:00 pm in Modesto, to the oncology team in Sacramento. By the time we picked up and fed my famished husband, and drove back to Daly City, it was already midnight!

Like a ton of bricks, it hit me that our fight hasn't even begun! And at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I will ask you once again to please keep us in your prayers always: for Edison's healing, for our family's strength, and for the unwavering faith that all of this is part of God's much bigger plans for Edison to thrive!

On behalf of our family, thank you for being part of Edison's #TeamThrive! Cheers!

"When life gives you limes, make margaritas!" :)

Faith, Hope, and Love Remain

In preparation for one of our best friends' July 2017 wedding, Edison has gone back to the gym in January. One night, coming home with a stiff neck, he thought he pulled a muscle from lifting weights. In late February, he noticed a lump on the right side of his neck. We thought it was just his lymph node swelling up to protect him from the cough & cold bug that has been going around the family. Just to be sure though, we scheduled a routine check- up - it was time for his annual physical anyway.

His primary care physician in Tracy prescribed antibiotics. The hope was for the swelling to subside in the next ten days. Meanwhile, his blood work and x-ray came out normal. The swollen lymph node stayed about the same size - like a chestnut - after ten days of taking antibiotics three times a day for ten days, so his primary care physician referred him to a head and neck specialist. A little concerned at this point, but we just kept praying as always... and Edison kept going to the gym as usual.

Late March, he had an appointment in Modesto with the specialist, who did some blood work, a nasoendoscopy (a test to look inside the nose, throat, and voice box), and a biopsy. The specialist didn't see anything alarming through the nasoendoscopy, but ordered a CT scan. In a couple of days, his blood work came back normal, but the specialist informed Edison that he needed to come back for a second biopsy because there were "signs of lymphoma."

Shock... nausea... denial... abnormal sleep pattern due to stress... research... agony... how fitting that it was Lent and I found myself praying as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane: "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done."

Edward, Alison, and I went with Edison to his CT scan appointment after school on Thursday, April 6th in South San Francisco. The following day, I went with him to his second biopsy appointment in Modesto. Waiting for something we have no control over was excruciating. I constantly cried out to God... and unceasingly found strength in Christ's passion.

And as if on cue for Good Friday, we have received the devastating news from the specialist that Edison's second biopsy shows a metastatic cancer that is positive for Epstein Barr Virus. The main cancer site is suspected to be at the nasopharynx, or from the back of the nose. He then needs further medical tests, MRI and PET scan, to help locate the main cancer site and to see if it has spread elsewhere.

We spent a good amount of Holy Saturday just being sad. Easter Sunday was a lot better: being surrounded by loving family and friends was such a blessing!

As much as I've drawn inspiration in Christ's passion during this Lent, our family will now begin a new chapter in our lives with the great faith, hope, and love that the Easter Season brings. Please keep us in your prayers as we go through this journey.

"These three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13)